Rainbow Days: October 2011

29 October 2011

repeat?

the previous post i said that i admit my mistakes,
and "sorry" was spelt there.

you also admit your mistakes,
but it's like asking me to know what i've done to you.

replay button was pressed ;
i admit my mistakes,
and sorry.

do i have to repeat,
i don't need your thanks,
i don't need your money,
i don't need your kindness,
and i don't even need your apologies,
i just want you to stop stabbing my back,
and stop making wounds on friend's heart.

how can i stand up with strength after what you've said behind me.
to you maybe it is nothing,
but to me, it is like a sudden heavy rain.
after all the nice things i tell to mum about friends,
now i have to walk on a fire street made by "friends".

again, i repeat.
i don't want you to remember what i've done for you,
i just want you to know what friendship really means and stop stabbing my back.
i'm not saying these words to you, but to all of you.

you really don't understand

should i say this,

or could you please understand,

or should i explain more,

i am not asking you to remember my kindness,

i am not asking you to say thank you,

i am not asking you to tell people about what i've done for you.

i just wanted you to stop talking bad things about me.

my precious mum knows all the pain i bear.

but she never know bad things about you, indeed,

i told her every sweet moments we had,

and she never know the sorrow i hide,

until my tears falls on her shoulder last night.

she was shocked,

she said that i never told her any bad things about you,

but how come this can happen?

so i just want you to know that all these while,

i've been telling my mum that you are one of my best friend,

and i never ever tell any bad things about you even there's lots of wound you left in my heart.

how could you give million litres of blood while i'm giving million litres of honey?

how do you feel when you are telling a good things about a person,

but the person tells bad things about you?

that is the main reason why i feel so depressed.

not because i wanted you to remember all the things i've done for you.

forgive is easy.

i repeat, easy.

i just can't believe what you've said behind me.

when it comes to my final step,

my heart says it is the point where i have to say goodbye to my laughter..

can i give a wide smile?

can i laugh?

these are the hardest thing to do right now.

friendship is like a glass ornament, once it is broken it can rarely be put back together exactly the same way.

it would fine to repeat these words to you again and make you understand more;

i never wanted you to remember my kindness,

i just wanted you to know what friendship really means.

28 October 2011

voice to be heard

in this good mood,

it would be very nice to write something,

to tell everybody how much pain you gave to me.

firstly, please do understand what is the meaning of tears.

it hurts me when i see my friends crying.

but do you ever feel the same way?

and could you please give my tears back?

or could you please count how many times i cried because of you.

secondly, please do understand what is the meaning of friendship.

much problems i know from all of my friends.

and of course i'll try to help.

but sometimes i wish that i could give more, but i couldn't.
and that makes me feel guilty although i shouldn't feel that.

so you can count on my ears, i'll be your listener,

or be a shoulder for you to cry on.

i am not asking you to repay what i've done for you.

i just want you to stop stabbing my back.

i was able to spend my money,

to skip my classes,

to accompany you when your tears fall,

to spend thousand seconds to be the ears for you to tell your sadness,

to give words for you to stand strong,

to be a friend who cares for your safety when you're not around,

to be a mini clinic when you're sick,

and to pull out my money when my credits is empty because of you..

i don't want your money or your thanks,

i'm just aggrieved of what you've said behind me..

i know that no one is perfect in this world including me of course.

is it fair to ask people to accept you but you can't accept others?

this heart was scraped many times but did i ever tell anyone?

my mouth was set to silent everytime you gave me knives.

and nobody knows.

but why can't you?

as i feel like swimming in the pool of tears (now),

i want you to know that i am a person who really love friends,

i know what is friends,

i've lost my closest friend,

and it is so hard to accept it.

and that's why i always try to be a good friend,

but sometimes my bad behavior peep out.

i admit it.

when i am in this situation,

it is killing me inside,

as i am not strong enough to stand alone,

i pray to Allah to give me a steel heart to stop care about friends who always hurt me.

my family especially my mum always be the miraculous support system when i fall..

i'm sorry i couldn't be a good friend.

but you waste my tears so much and i couldn't hold it.

i've never met a friend like you before.

the wounds in my heart keep telling me to stop crying and be strong.

sometimes i think that crying can cure,

but actually crying can't do anything..

someone says,

"Sometimes it sucks being strong. because when people know that you are strong, they think that it is okay to hurt you over and over again."

"Don't trust too much to anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness."

would it be nice if i could tell this in front of you with tears?

or would it be nicer if i could tell this in front of you with anger?

from the every gloomy minutes that i've been through,

i think i should make a move to another path,

a path that was fenced to stave off the word "care".

since you gave me only a sharp sword for all i've done for you,

the word "care" is nothing, and will be erased from my dictionary..

flying kick is the better than flying kiss

kadang-kadang nampak macam awan,
tapi sebenarnya asap..

kadang-kadang nampak macam emas,
tapi sebenarnya zhulian..

kadang-kadang nampak macam sungai,
tapi sebenarnya longkang..

kadang-kadang nampak macam lampu,
tapi sebenarnya api..

kadang-kadang nampak macam ikan,
tapi sebenarnya berudu..

kadang-kadang nampak macam permata,
tapi sebenarnya kaca..

kadang-kadang nampak macam kelambu,
tapi sebenarnya sawang..

kadang-kadang nampak macam sirap,
tapi sebenarnya darah..

kadang-kadang nampak macam kawan,
tapi sebenarnya lawan..

dulu-dulu flying kiss sekarang flying kick.

blog aku, suke hati aku lah nak tulis ape. kau terase pesal?

best words

best words at the moment ;

sometimes people cry not because they're weak. it is because they've been strong for too long.

don't depend too much on anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness.

A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else.

A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.

and..

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away..

16 October 2011

Sos Paling Pedas

Assalamualaikum :)

bagi sesape yg nak menguji kesabaran dan ketabahan serta kecekalan menghadapi rasa kepedasan tahap gaban tak bleh blaa punye, sila ke nando's.
weyy ayat pun nak gaban ke..

kisahnye begini,
tadi pgi laa try makan kat nando's..
bila makanan aku dah smpai, aku pun amik je segala sos yg ade atas meja tu.
sume jenis sos aku tuang kat pinggan.
-Garlic sos
-Hot peri-peri
-Extra Hot peri-peri (tuang banyak skit)
dengan selambe aku campur2 sume tu. tambah plak dengan serbuk lada.
konon2 aku tahan sangat laa kan.

sekali ngap, "emm sedap!"
dua kali ngap, "wuu pedas! tapi xpe, sedap camni !"
tiga kali, "waa pedasnyee.. xpe2 air ade.."
empat kali, "weyy pedas gile!" (control muke! control muke!)
lima kali, mata aku da kabur2. (bergenang air mata kuuu~)
sampai dah nak abis, "rase mulut aku dah mcm angelina jolie.."
rase mcm tebal je..haha..

siap amik gamba lg haa.. promote nando's skit..